5 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR PARTNER TO INCREASE INTIMACY

Building intimacy in a relationship is about creating a deeper connection, increasing understanding, and improving trust with your partner. 

Whether you're in a new relationship or have been together for years, asking the right questions can help you uncover new layers of your relationship and foster a stronger bond. 

Here are five questions designed to increase intimacy, along with tips on how to approach these conversations.

Questions to ask your partner about love

Talking about love can feel uncomfortable and kind of cheesy. But it’s important to understand exactly how your partner conceptualizes love and what it means to them.

Try asking: "What does love mean to you?"

Understanding your partner’s definition of love is crucial because it can vary from person to person. This question opens up a conversation about how each of you perceive and express love. It helps you align your actions and expressions with what your partner values most in love, deepening your connection by ensuring you're both on the same page.

Why it’s important

This question helps you tap into your partner's emotional landscape, giving you insight into their core values and how they feel loved and appreciated. It can prevent misunderstandings and unmet expectations (the cause of most arguments), giving you a more peaceful relationship.

Questions to ask your partner about the future

Healthy relationships plan for a future ahead together. One of the best ways to make sure you’re moving together in the right direction is to explicitly ask what your partner wants or needs.

Try asking: "What’s something you've always wanted to try together that we haven’t?" 

This question sparks excitement and curiosity, encouraging you both to explore new experiences together as you build a co-created future together. 

Whether it’s a new hobby, a travel destination, or a bedroom fantasy, discovering and trying new things as a couple can reignite passion and build shared memories.

You can also ask them: "What are your hopes for our future?"

This is another way of dreaming about and planning for your future together. 

Why it’s important

Exploring new activities together keeps the relationship exciting and prevents it from becoming stagnant. It also shows that you are open to growing and evolving together, which is vital for long-term intimacy.

A couple who is intentional about what their future together holds are more likely to grow together and reach their future goals and aspirations. 

Questions to ask your partner about their needs 

If you want to be in an equal partnership, you need to make sure you know what your partner needs from you instead of assuming.

Try asking: "How can I support you better in our relationship?"

This question shows your partner that you are committed to their well-being and the health of the relationship. It opens the door for honest communication about needs, desires, and areas where they might feel unsupported or overlooked.

Remember to be open and receptive to their answer when you ask this question. It’s not about criticizing you – it’s about learning how to best support the person you love. 

Why it’s important

Regularly asking this question ensures that both partners feel valued and cared for. It also encourages a culture of mutual support and understanding, which strengthens the emotional bond between you.

Questions to ask your partner about your time together

The beauty of a partnership is that you both value different things and appreciate your time together in different ways. Make sure you know what means the most to your partner so you can be intentional about creating more moments that are uniquely special in their eyes.

Try asking: "What’s your favorite memory of us together?"

Reflecting on positive memories can reignite the feelings of love and connection you had in those moments. This question encourages a nostalgic trip down memory lane, helping you both remember why you fell in love and what makes your relationship special.

Why it’s important

Sharing favorite memories fosters positive emotions and reinforces the bond you’ve built over time. It also serves as a reminder of your shared history and the unique journey you've been on together.

Setting the stage for a successful conversation

It’s not just about asking the right questions… it’s also about how you ask them. 

To ensure these conversations increase intimacy instead of turning into an interrogation, consider the following tips:

• Choose the Right Time and Place
  Make sure you’re in a comfortable, private setting where you both feel relaxed. Avoid bringing up deep topics when either of you is stressed or distracted.

• Use a Gentle Tone
  Approach these conversations with curiosity and warmth. The goal is to explore your connection, not to interrogate your partner.

• Listen Actively
  Show that you’re truly interested in their answers by listening without interrupting. Reflect back what you hear to ensure you’re understanding them correctly.

• Be Vulnerable
  Share your own thoughts and feelings in response to these questions. Vulnerability is key to building intimacy, as it encourages your partner to open up as well.

• Follow Up Later
  Some of these questions might bring up deeper feelings or ideas that require time to process. Be sure to revisit the conversation later to see how your partner feels after having some time to reflect.

When you take the time to carefully and intentionally ask your partner these questions, you will deepen your connection and build a more intimate, fulfilling relationship.