HOW TO DEAL WITH A LACK OF COMMITMENT IN A MARRIAGE

Commitment is the backbone of any thriving marriage. 

But what happens when it starts to fade? 

Recognizing and addressing a lack of commitment is crucial for the health and happiness of your relationship. 

Today we’ll explore the signs of dwindling commitment, proven strategies to tackle a lack of commitment, and how engaging with a relationship coach can offer personalized help.

Recognizing the Signs of a Lack of Commitment in a Marriage

A marriage is a complex relationship with many different dynamics at play at any given time. It’s helpful to be aware of the signs your marriage is being negatively affected by a lack of commitment. 

These are the signs to be aware of:

• Emotional Distance: Is your partner sharing less about their feelings or daily life? If you feel emotional distance… it’s probably there.

• Shying Away from the Future: Does your partner avoid talking about future plans together? If you can’t get them to make plans for your future, they may not be committed to being together in the future.

• Preferring Alone Time: Has there been an increase in time spent apart without a clear reason? Some alone time is normal and healthy, but if your partner constantly wants to be alone – they may not be feeling particularly committed.

• Looking Elsewhere: Is there emotional or physical infidelity involved? Cheating – emotionally or physically – is a sure sign your partner is not currently committed to your relationship. 

What Can You Do About a Lack of Commitment in a Marriage?

he hard truth is that you can’t ever force a person to care. No matter how committed you are… if your partner isn’t equally committed – you’re going to have issues. 

But don’t despair! Before calling it quits, there are a number of things you can try to address the issue and potentially help your partner re-commit. 

Start by talking it out. Have an open conversation about your feelings. Remember to use “I” language to talk about how you feel without projecting or blaming your partner. They may be shocked to find out how you feel, or they may be feeling the same. You never know until you discuss it!

While you’re talking, take some time to define what commitment means to each of you. You need to agree on what commitment should look like in your relationship. These decisions need to be mutually agreed upon and shared. Remember – commitment can look different for every couple. It’s more important that you’re both on the same page than aligning to cultural standards. 

If you can’t come to a consensus, conversation is challenging, or you feel like your partner isn’t listening to you – you may need to seek help.

Consider couples therapy or relationship coaching if appropriate. 

And while it can feel scary, sometimes a little distance can bring a lot of clarity. Consider taking a break to see how you both feel. (Not sure what taking a break can look like? Click here to read my guide on confidently taking a break!) 

How Can a Relationship Coach Help?

A relationship coach can help you deepen your commitment by reflecting on your values and figuring out what you really want from your marriage.

A coach can also help you make tough calls when you come to the realization that things aren’t working. They can guide you both through the decision to part ways, if that’s where you land, so you can both move forward with peace, clarity, and confidence. 

If you decide you want to work through your commitment differences, a relationship coach is a great help in learning to engage your partner. They can introduce the best strategies to help your partner recommit to the relationship and will guide you both through the process of getting clear on what commitment means to you both.

A Lack of Commitment in a Marriage Doesn’t Mean It’s Over

A lack of commitment doesn’t have to spell the end of your marriage. 

By recognizing the signs early and taking proactive steps, you can either restore your bond or move forward with clarity and peace of mind. 

If you’re feeling stuck, remember that help is just a conversation away—working with a relationship coach might be just what you need to reignite that commitment or make the choices that are right for you.